Sex with an ex (sEX)

Thought that title might get your attention!

So, when is it ok to have sex with an ex? After coffee apparently!
I'm only kidding... or am I?

Seriously though, when is it ok to hook back up with an ex?
I guess it all depends on the individuals involved, the circumstances under which they broke up and the present situation... and whether it's just sex (no strings attached, "bonus night" etc., which I have never been able to do, ex or no ex!) or more... like getting back together. No shit Sherlock says you!

Anyways, when I was contemplating meeting up with J after Christmas I did a bit of googling to see what advice the all-knowing interweb could offer me. Search terms included "should I meet up with my ex", "getting back together with an ex", "can I be friends with an ex", "how to look shit-hot to your ex"... ok, maybe not the last one but you get the gist. And most articles that I read all stated that sex was absolutely out of the question if you were serious about having a second chance at a meaningful relationship or else trying to salvage a friendship from the broken relationship (something else that I have never managed to be able to do, not for lack of trying). You know, it makes sense logically - better to talk, communicate, discuss the issues that drove you apart the first time, give each other space, distance, time and not confuse the physical with the emotional etc. But what if while you are talking and getting emotional and all the rest, you are looking into each others eyes and you feel closer than you've ever felt before and you both know that it's gonna happen one way or the other, sooner or later. And seeing as how you've already had sex many times before what's the point of waiting? All logic, will-power and the pain of the last couple of months seem to go out the window...

The sex was f*cking great.

Raw call

I phoned her...

The text messages, e-mails and voicemails were getting ridiculous and I couldn't leave them unanswered. She wanted to meet up with me and we had set a day. The day came and went (almost). It was 6.18pm. I still hadn't replied to her request of setting a time/ place to meet. So I phoned her. That was hard. The only and best word to describe the conversation was raw.

Raw - unnaturally or painfully exposed, as flesh, by removal of the skin or natural integument. Painfully open, as a sore or wound.

She said what she wanted to say. She apologised. She said that she didn't treat me well at the end or in the way that I deserved. She told me that I was amazing and that she really hoped that I would meet someone that would love me in the way that I deserved. That really irritated me. She told me that she didn't want to bother me but that she did still want to see me. I told her that she was bothering me and what was the point of meeting up if she had said all she wanted to say. We had a bit of a chit-chat then (as you do!) and I reached my threshold with the chit-chatting. So we left it at that. I hung up. I cried for an hour and a half.

I texted her happy new year on New Years Eve, imaging her with someone else (I couldn't bring myself to ask on the phone). She replied with the usual new year's wishes. I didn't expect to hear from her again, after that. That made me sad. So... I texted her the following week - "Do you want to meet for that coffee". She replied "Yes, I'd like that".

Being stalked by an ex...

Ok... so we've all done it, you know googled an ex or wandered your way over to their Bebo/ MySpace/ Facebook page just to see how they are/ what they're up to (or in other words are they going out with anyone new)... BUT, it's getting a bit creepy for me of late... In the past month, an ex from 6 years ago that now lives on a different continent has googled me (on the sly cause she probably figured I'd pick up on the location if she typed my full name in what with my knowledge of web thingys and all). So she googles me by using my first name combined with the college that I went to, which interestingly enough returns a pretty high ranking... Hhhmmm. Pity for her that she didn't realise the college that she is in came up in the stats program... coincidence, I think not... I then received an e-mail from her a few days later and an invite to connect on facebook, which I have done so and will not be mentioning the recent google/ stalk-like incident. So that's that ex...

Hhhhmmmm... in other ex stalk-worthy news... a much more recent ex (yes if you've read any previous posts, you know who I mean) didn't seem to take the hint when I didn't reply to any of her recent text messages and must have decided that the e-mail route might prove more productive... Well, I read the e-mail, re-read it about 20 times and then decided not to reply to that either... until about a week ago. No point in being a complete cold-hearted bitch and it's coming up to Christmas plus we're broken up a few months now so I thought I'd drop her a line (well actually it was 3 lines but it was a response nonetheless and will hopefully have given the impression that I hope she's well but I don't want any contact for a while yet in so many words). Then a former roommate of hers adds me as a friend on a social netorking site and we exchange a few messages. Ah bless, nice guy... coincidentally I bump into him and a few others at Q+A last weekend and we have a short chat (not mentioning aforementioned ex)... Following day I get the 'oh I heard you bumped into xyz last night, hope you had a good night' text... Fair enough, this doesn't quite qualify as stalking... but come on leave me alone for a while! Just because I talked to someone we both know does not mean you have to contact me about it when it has nothing to do with you... If you love somebody set them free and all the other stuff that Sting sings about!

The End