Say something or don't say anything at all!

I don't know why I feel so sad today... I was getting over things for a few weeks, wasn't thinking about her and didn't have the time to either. Today, however, I feel heartbroken. Last weekend, I started to miss her again and I hadn't really missed her in a few weeks. Last weekend though, I just wanted, needed a hug. Sunday evening I was looking at a tv show that we used to watch together and I thought of her. Sunday night, I was lying in bed thinking about her and my phone went off... You know when you just know who it's going to be that texted you? Yeah, I was right... "Hi" ... yes, that was the entire contents of the text message. "Hi" ... no, not even any punctuation! FUCK OFF! What a f*cking mind-fuck. Leave me alone if that is all you have to say to me. If you cared about me you'd either say something meaningful or you'd leave me alone. Let me be free. What's the point of contacting me now... Someone thought you'd started to regret your decision, change your mind, have second thoughts... Someone else thought that you were trying to initiate the contact again.. either way, grow a pair! Say something or don't say anything at all! Typical, that you would try to get me to make the effort, even now... was it always like that?!? God, I must have been such a sucker if that was the case. Don't put yourself out there at all... coward. Selfish, immature, empty, cold, hi. That irritated me and then I didn't miss you any more. This weekend though I find myself thinking about you again... Was it the hi? Is that all it took to put you back in my mind, a hi? I missed you Friday night, I missed you yesterday, I miss you now... 

How are my legs moving?

I don't know where the strength comes from sometimes... When I was in Italy three years ago (getting over another ex), I swam all the way out to that buoy just to prove to myself that I could do it. When I reached it and looked back to the shore I didn't know how I was going to make it back, it was a lot further out that I had originally thought. I made it back. Where did I get that strength? Why am I always heartbroken in Italy? When me & J broke up my legs kept moving and I was able to walk away. It was as if they were separate to my body, had a mind of their own and just kept going... inside I didn't feel strong.