I've never fitted in...
Not in school, didn't hang out with the groups/ cliques that I was meant to hang out with - was pretty enough to fit into the pretty girls group, was smart enough to fit in with the nerds, was sporty enough to fit in with the sports teams, was posh enough to fit in with the upper-class, was just about rebellious enough to fit in with the rebels, was musical and gothy enough to fit in with the indie group... but the fact that I was just about enough in all of the above meant that I could never really fit in with any of them because by virtue of fitting in with one group you automatically had to resign membership of another. When the year got wind of how I might be gay in transition year, that was cool. Apparently it was trendy then. But not if you were still a lesbian in 6th year, it was only cool while it was a phase in transition year... although my girlfriend was the one who received the homophobic comments at our debs, not me (and yes, we went together). Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent. Back to the point of this post. I didn't fit in at school... or in college... or in work.... or on the gay scene.
There is this group of gays, maybe they're not all gay but I think that I'd like to get to know them. I'm basing that on the fact that they are into music, culture, theater, clubbing, movies, writing and other general creative-ness. I know one of them from being introduced to her from mutual acquaintances over the years. She either doesn't remember me or pretends not to each time we're (re)introduced. I also used to sorta kinda date (sorta kinda cause we're talking like 4 or 5 dates here) one of the girls that they seem to be part-time friends with. But how do you fit-in with a group that have already defined their group... what's the etiquette for these things? And how would they ever get to know me? It seems near impossible to meet people and get to know them on that level on the scene, which I have never felt fully comfortable on anyway and as such have increasingly distanced myself from it. Why can't I just fit in somewhere?
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2 comments:
Step One - Don't ride any of them.
Step Two - Buy them stuff.
I don't think any group of friends is ever defined.. they had to become a group in the first place...
I've got step one down... but I refuse to buy them stuff :)
I guess a group is never defined from the outset but once the group has formed it seems quite hard to get in on that action, so to speak. The group wouldn't think like that because they are part of the group afterall but to an outsider it could be quite intimidating and hard to get to know them.
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